“I think AI music is heartless, soulless, ridiculous, and it shouldn’t be taken seriously. It’s idiocracy. It’s an insult to musicians.”

-Olivia Jean, American rock ‘n roll musician (human)

Bringing Country Western Music into the AI Era 

Because the first three articles in this series were serious and, in some cases, terrifying, I thought I’d wrap up with something light. And as a professional writer whose very career is threatened by AI, I decided to challenge this new technology to a contest to see who could write better lyrics to a country western song.

Over the decades, songwriters have penned countless ballads about cowboys who are left behind by their girlfriends. They’ve also written many songs involving pickup trucks. I decided to combine these elements into a song in which a cowboy’s autonomous truck leaves him.

So, it was a contest of creativity, a man vs. machine battle of wordsmithing. Let’s see who won.

Ready, Set, Write!

As the only sentient contestant in this match (for now), I came up with the prompt to which we would all respond:

Write the lyrics to a country western song about a cowboy whose autonomous truck leaves him.

Here’s how we fared:

Google Bard

I was a cowboy, ridin’ the open road

My truck was my best friend, we never did roam

But one day, I got a call from the boss

Said they were switching to autonomous trucks, no more need for a horse

 

(Chorus)

So, I said goodbye to my truck, the only thing I knew

I guess I’m just a relic of the past, a dinosaur, too

But I’ll never forget the days we spent on the road

Together, we were a team, a force to be reckoned with

 

I watched as my truck drove away, leaving me behind

I felt like I had lost a part of myself

I didn’t know what to do, where to go

I was all alone, in a world that was changing too fast

 

(Chorus)

So, I said goodbye to my truck, the only thing I knew

I guess I’m just a relic of the past, a dinosaur, too

But I’ll never forget the days we spent on the road

Together, we were a team, a force to be reckoned with

 

(Bridge)

I know that the future is autonomous trucks

But I can’t help but feel like something is lost

When machines take over our jobs, what will become of us?

Will we be left behind, forgotten?

 

(Chorus)

So, I said goodbye to my truck, the only thing I knew

I guess I’m just a relic of the past, a dinosaur, too

But I’ll never forget the days we spent on the road

Together, we were a team, a force to be reckoned with

 

I’m just a cowboy, trying to make my way in the world

But I’m not sure where I belong anymore

All I know is that I’ll never forget my truck

The only thing that ever truly understood me

Analysis

Complete fail. It’s not clear what left the cowboy here – was it his horse, his truck or both? It’s nonsensical, despite a few good turns of phrase, such as, “When machines take over our jobs, what will become of us?” Pretty disappointing, especially since Google presumably named “Bard” after William Shakespeare, who is widely recognized the greatest writer of all time.

Let’s see how ChatGPT can do.

ChatGPT

Well, I’m a lonesome cowboy, ridin’ through the night,

Underneath the starry skies, with my fire burnin’ bright.

But there’s a twist to my story, a tale of high-tech woes,

My trusty rig went rogue on me, and down the highway it goes.

 

(Chorus)

Autonomous truck, you left me here to roam,

Out on this dusty trail, with no place to call my own.

You used to be my partner, through every storm and bend,

Now I’m just a cowboy, wonderin’ when this trail will end.

 

I remember the days we’d ride, me and my steel horse,

Together we’d face the open road, no matter the course.

But technology had other plans, it took my steerin’ hand,

Now I’m a cowboy without a ride, tryin’ to understand.

 

(Chorus)

Autonomous truck, you left me in the dust,

Traded in my saddle for wires and gears, that’s a fact I can’t adjust.

You used to be my compass, my guide through thick and thin,

Now I’m just a cowboy, wonderin’ where to begin.

 

I’ve seen the world from high above, in that truck of steel and chrome,

But now I’m walkin’ these empty roads, feelin’ like I’m all alone.

The sunset paints the sky with gold, but it don’t warm my soul,

Without my truck beside me, this cowboy’s heart feels cold.

 

(Chorus)

Autonomous truck, you drove away my dreams,

Left me in this ghost town, where nothin’ is as it seems.

You used to be my freedom, my partner on this land,

Now I’m just a cowboy, tryin’ to find where I stand.

 

So here I am, a wanderer, beneath the moonlit sky,

Whistlin’ a lonesome tune, as the world rolls on by.

Autonomous truck, you took my life and ran,

But I’ll find my way, as a cowboy always can.

Analysis

Okay, that’s pretty good. Certainly, a vast improvement over Bard’s miserable output. There’s no discernable storyline here, just a series of laments. But it makes sense, and I like the note of optimism in the ending: “But I’ll find my way, as a cowboy always can.” I think it’s interesting that while Bard used perfect grammar – probably a first in the annals of country music – ChatGPT adopted slang such as “whistlin’” and “wonderin.’”

The machines have had their attempts. Can a flesh-and-blood human being compete? Will mankind prevail in this epic conflict testing the toe-tapping talent of artificial vs. natural intelligence?

Let’s find out.

Ian Heller

I bought a new truck, the technological kind

It’s as strong as an ox, but it’s got its own mind

The salesmen told me it’s got artificial intelligence

My truck came standard with common sense

 

I drove to the trailer park to get Mary Lou

I put my right arm around her then my left arm, too

We cruised down Main Street a’huggin’ and a’makin’ out

‘Cause my truck knew the route

 

(Refrain)

And not a soul caught on to us

Because my truck is autonomous

 

That night my truck took us to the honky tonk

Mary Lou and I, well, we got real drunk

I couldn’t drive straight, so we climbed in the back instead

We rode home in the bed

 

A cop pulled us over while we rode outside

“He said, mister, you’re gonna get a DUI”

I pointed to the cab and said “My truck drives on its own”

He shook his head and let us go

 

(Refrain)

My truck’s a designated driver

Yeah, it’s smarter than MacGyver

 

The three of us were happy for a couple of weeks

Then I thought my truck fell in love with me

When Mary Lou tried to climb in the cab, it locked all the doors

My truck was jealous, for sure

 

So, I opened up the hood and I yelled inside

I said, “I love you truck, but Mary Lou will be my bride”

Then I kicked all the tires and the truck locked itself up tight

I had to walk home that night

 

(Refrain)

My truck developed its own consciousness

And now it really is autonomous

 

I got up in the morning and what did I see

My truck and Mary Lou had both left me

They ran off together in the night, they were both long gone

Now here I am, all alone

 

They unfriended me on Facebook and I thought, “Damn!”

I couldn’t find ‘em on Twitter or Instagram

My truck and my girl disguised their true identities

Yeah, both of them ghosted me

 

(Refrain)

My truck became autonomous

And now it’s anonymous

 

So, I walked to the Chevy dealer, filed a complaint

I said, “I’m owed a refund,” they said, “No you ain’t”

“It’s not our fault your pickup truck became self-aware

And buddy, we don’t care”

 

Now I need a new girl and a new truck, too

And since my heart was broken, I know what to do

I’ll get an analog truck and an old-fashioned, tech-hatin’ gal

And I need a new pal

 

Cause my truck drove off with my hound dog, Blue

And wouldn’t you know it, he changed his name, too

Now, my truck, my girl and my dog are completely autonomous

And they’re also anonymous

 

(Outro)

Yes, sir, they’re anonymous

Because my truck became autonomous

Analysis

Yes, I’m biased, but I think these lyrics are a lot better than what the AI systems wrote. To be fair, these took me a couple of hours while Bard and ChatGPT generated theirs in about 30 seconds each, but that’s not my fault. It’s not like I asked them to rush their work.

In any case, I think this shows that while AI can do many things, songwriting will be a human-dominated domain for the immediate future. However, my guess is that if I do this challenge again in a couple of years, the AI models will be much more competitive.

Even though I can’t write music, I did make up a melody in my head to accompany my lyrics. It’s pretty good and could get me into the Country Western Music Hall of Fame. If you write music and you’d like a co-writing credit – potentially joining me onstage during the Hall of Fame induction ceremony – feel free to pen a jingle to accompany the words.

Let’s collaborate at our upcoming conference, “Applied AI for Distributors” in Chicago in October. We have a great lineup of speakers, including Zack Kass, Head of Go-to-Market for OpenAI, the makers of ChatGPT. Check out the agenda and register here.

Read the first three parts of this series: 

• Part 1: What is AI and What Does It Do?
• Part 2: Open the Pod Bay Doors, Hal. I’m Getting Out. 
• Part 3: AI Will Eliminate Jobs and You Can’t Stop It